the little peony

the noble daughter of water

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Second, July 10.
This is my second note, and I still couldnt figure out how to write a daily journal bcs I wasnt use to.
My brain loves to think, and wonder. So sometimes I could think about some random things. Just like this evening I was thinking about to braided my hair.

I have a thick hair, and it's not smooth or straight and it's still short bcs my hair keep falling off. So the braided wont be turn as beauty as I think.
But that's not the point.

It's remind me with Anggia. I remember how someone did braided to her hair, and it's beautiful. But Anggia always looks beautiful even if her hair was just normal. How come I couldnt be as pretty as her.

It's not like I envying her. It's so highschool and I accept myself for whoever I am. But apparently people not. I'm not that beauty, and to make it worse I have this short temperament. Maybe they will accept me for the way I am if I look bit prettier, but unfortunately I am not.

Frankly I hate Indonesian. With society that they build and society that build them for the way they are now. Not all people are bad people, I know but.. it's hard. It's hard to find even for companion. They judge you, they telling you how to do this how to do that so that you could be together with them. It's wrong. It's definitely wrong. You couldnt be whoever you are without accepting any harsh words from them. And they told us to just ignore them? Dont you think that I have heart?

Is it.. difficult to find someone who really accepting you for the way you are? Im bit glad to have friends (from highschool) who have wide opinions about world, about everything. And didnt judge you for something that you do. They just accpet you.

Shoud I move to another country just for the sake to have partner who accepting who you are? Lol.

I have told this to Rizka, that inner beauty is all that matter, but i disagree. First impression always matter.

- G.R


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